The scenario
I was chatting to a girl in the office a few days ago....
She does internet dating and was explaining to her friends how it all works.
The conversation got onto a ‘hot prospect’ that she was supposedly going to meet up with but how she’d decided to ‘bail out’ as she had some doubts and didn’t have the same feelings for the guy.
My eyes lit up as I grasped the relevance of this and how it would be useful to share with our email subscribers.....so here goes:
Apparently they’d been emailing for a while which had progressed to instant messaging on MSN and a few phone calls and text messages.
He was a music producer.
Wow! Cool job!
So I asked her why she wasn’t going to see him. Her answer went like this:
“I just don’t feel the same for him. Perhaps I’m too fussy. At first I really liked him and thought it would be great to meet as we seemed so alike. I was really optimistic.”
I asked her what changed....
“Well he just became a bit too ‘full on.’ He’d text me every morning with a “Hi gorgeous” message. And he’d text me all the time.”
She then went on to say:
“So I told him I didn’t want to meet up. I wanted to cool it for a while. He said he’d fallen for me, big time and really thought we had a future together.”
When a woman says she wants to ‘cool it for a while’ you’re history!!
History
And this guy is history. He didn’t even get a first date.
My friend thinks she’s too fussy.
Guess what?
The guy screwed up!
MASSIVELY!
Never, never, never reveal your true feelings for a woman at such an early stage.
It’s 100% guaranteed to KILL the attraction she feels for you.
There are numerous reasons and detail behind the why and I’m going to touch on 3:
Fact 1:
Too soon.
First off it’s too early.
You may see someone and engage in conversation and think to yourself “Wow this girl is amazing I think I could marry her!”
She may also be thinking something like “I like this guy, he’s fun, cute and sexy. I hope this goes somewhere.”
But the moment you come on so strong you’re killing the mystery, the intrigue, the differentiator and other thing that make you attractive. In fact you’ve become a lame, boring, dull and typical guy!
So chill out!
Take your time. Act aloof.
Fact 2:
In this case my friend has been living by herself for 3 years.
Living by yourself has some advantages. You can be a ‘free spirit’. You can choose what you want to do and when you want to do it. You can live like a slob or live in a ‘showhome!’ The point is the choice is yours.
The moment you come on strong, her subconscious is going to start ringing alarm bells, saying “Change! Change! Change!”
People don’t like change. So avoid this but not breaking the status quo.
Fact 3:
She got to miss you.
Guys that text every hour of the day, come across as needy, desperate and generally a proper wet rag!
I doubt you’re any of those, but that is how it appears.
Would a really hot guy who had the pick of numerous women really text every hour?
No, he’d be hard to get hold of, difficult to pin down and the women would be chasing him.
So don’t text every hour and never write ‘needy’ messages.
If you write “Hi gorgeous” then you owe me a case of beer!!
Instead write:
“Hey I know you’re missing me like crazy, so I wanted to give you a little taster of me! Have fun! X”
A text like that say’s you’re confident about yourself. You’re not needy. You’re not trying to change her life and move in with her. It also sub-consciously makes her feel you’re different, calm, confident and slightly aloof.
This is a tiny fraction of what we coach in The SECRET ART OF ATTRACTION™.
If you want to perfect the ART of ATTRACTING women.
Want to know the SECRETS on how to attract women? Sign up to the FREE coaching email, full of dating tips for men and get a FREE guide on Why Most Dates Fail.
Good luck out there.
Callum
Showing posts with label overcoming the fear of approaching women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overcoming the fear of approaching women. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Are you a bunny boiler?
A while ago we had an email from Simon:
“Hey guys I could use some help here! I’ve been on several dates recently and after the second date the girls always seem to lose interest. I’ve been cool and charming (I think) and have we’ve got close and personal with the conversations. Even to the point where we’ve been discussing long term plans around family and kids. Yet in each case they have gone cold on me after 2 or 3 dates. Help!”
We’ve also had a few emails from guys who want to know how to get closer to a woman that they’ve met for a few times.
I’ll give an example:
You’ve been out on a couple of dates, shared a few kisses and embraces; but haven’t made the move to the bedroom. So the question is how do you cross that divide?
First it’s worth making sure you’re not a male bunny boiler (BB).
Some of the emails for advice we get have some BB qualities to them; for example sending endless texts, and sending texts immediately after receiving one.
By The way we look further into how to pace your communication in the course The SECRET ART OF ATTRACTION™ if you haven’t downloaded it yet then I would do it now.
So take this test to find out if you’re on the verge of becoming a BB:
Imagine you’ve met a woman 2 times, now answer the following questions:
Have you discussed how many kids you’d like?
Have you suggested meeting your or their parents?
Have you asked her if she’s in contact with or meeting anyone else?
If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these you’re sailing way too close to the wind.
You have to remember that what most women put on their internet profiles or tell you what they like in a man is what they ULTIMATELY want. It’s want they want in the long term
But it’s not what they will find ATTRACTIVE.
ATTRACTION isn’t something that can be switched on of off like a lightbulb!
Women are either attracted to your or they’re not!
And if they are NOT attracted to you in the initial meeting then the chances of them ever being attracted to you are almost ZERO!
What we COACH is how to create that ATTRACTION.
How to ENSURE that women find you incredibly ATTRACTIVE right from the ‘off!’
Down load the programme its risk free and it’ll change your life!
But if you have turned into some sort of Bunny Boiler why not try the Tips For Dating - Bunny Boiler Stew:
2 pet rabbits, skinned and jointed
250g Bacon cut into small pieces
1 tbsp olive oil
1 large onion, thickly sliced
3 large carrots,
1 leek
2 bay leaves
500ml dry cider
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1. Heat the oil in a pan and add the bacon, onions and pet rabbits, heat until brown. Then transfer the meat into a casserole dish or similar
2. Add the carrots, leek and bay leaves
3. Finally season with salt and pepper and add the cider. Ensure the meat is covered by added water
4. Place casserole in a pre heated oven at 130oc (ensure lid is on) for 90 minutes – although older pets will take longer.
5. Serve with potatoes and ladle juice over it all.
I’m glad we can be of help and don't really try this at home!
Best wishes
Callum
“Hey guys I could use some help here! I’ve been on several dates recently and after the second date the girls always seem to lose interest. I’ve been cool and charming (I think) and have we’ve got close and personal with the conversations. Even to the point where we’ve been discussing long term plans around family and kids. Yet in each case they have gone cold on me after 2 or 3 dates. Help!”
We’ve also had a few emails from guys who want to know how to get closer to a woman that they’ve met for a few times.
I’ll give an example:
You’ve been out on a couple of dates, shared a few kisses and embraces; but haven’t made the move to the bedroom. So the question is how do you cross that divide?
First it’s worth making sure you’re not a male bunny boiler (BB).
Some of the emails for advice we get have some BB qualities to them; for example sending endless texts, and sending texts immediately after receiving one.
By The way we look further into how to pace your communication in the course The SECRET ART OF ATTRACTION™ if you haven’t downloaded it yet then I would do it now.
So take this test to find out if you’re on the verge of becoming a BB:
Imagine you’ve met a woman 2 times, now answer the following questions:
Have you discussed how many kids you’d like?
Have you suggested meeting your or their parents?
Have you asked her if she’s in contact with or meeting anyone else?
If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these you’re sailing way too close to the wind.
You have to remember that what most women put on their internet profiles or tell you what they like in a man is what they ULTIMATELY want. It’s want they want in the long term
But it’s not what they will find ATTRACTIVE.
ATTRACTION isn’t something that can be switched on of off like a lightbulb!
Women are either attracted to your or they’re not!
And if they are NOT attracted to you in the initial meeting then the chances of them ever being attracted to you are almost ZERO!
What we COACH is how to create that ATTRACTION.
How to ENSURE that women find you incredibly ATTRACTIVE right from the ‘off!’
Down load the programme its risk free and it’ll change your life!
But if you have turned into some sort of Bunny Boiler why not try the Tips For Dating - Bunny Boiler Stew:
2 pet rabbits, skinned and jointed
250g Bacon cut into small pieces
1 tbsp olive oil
1 large onion, thickly sliced
3 large carrots,
1 leek
2 bay leaves
500ml dry cider
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1. Heat the oil in a pan and add the bacon, onions and pet rabbits, heat until brown. Then transfer the meat into a casserole dish or similar
2. Add the carrots, leek and bay leaves
3. Finally season with salt and pepper and add the cider. Ensure the meat is covered by added water
4. Place casserole in a pre heated oven at 130oc (ensure lid is on) for 90 minutes – although older pets will take longer.
5. Serve with potatoes and ladle juice over it all.
I’m glad we can be of help and don't really try this at home!
Best wishes
Callum
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Motor Racing babes
Have you ever seen the women that hang around at motor racing circuits?
You know the ones that are there as part of the race teams. They are wearing the team livery and are there purely as ‘eye candy.’
If you ever watch the MotoGP, prior to the race starting each competitor sits on his motorbike mentally preparing for the race. Holding an umbrella over each rider is a stunningly attractive girl, with a size 8 body and a figure hugging outfit.
Most guys will gawk and think things like:
“Wow she’s hot!”
or
“God I’d like to date her.”
Equally most guys will believe that these women are to be dreamed about and never will they really date a woman like this.
You have to be a gorgeous millionaire, don’t you?
Ask yourself; do you think the same way?
At the weekend a large motorbike store in a nearby town was celebrating its birthday and was holding a 2 day event. The place was alive with people. There was lots of entertainment and plenty there for the motorcycling enthusiast.
Additionally they had a plethora of ‘hotties’ making the place look nice and handing out promotional material.
I listened as many of the bikers took the material and then confided with each other about how ‘fit’ the girls where.
Yet none of them spent any time engaged in conversation with the girls.
And the few that muttered more than half a dozen words said all the wrong things.
This is great news!
It’s great because most men do all the wrong things. They say the wrong lines and they execute the wrong actions.
And that means that people like you and I that learn and practice the right things to say and the correct action to execute get to take girls like these on dates.
I know because I dated a girl that did the MotoGP events in the UK.
And the good news is, it’s so easy!
You don’t have to be tall. You don’t have to have dark hair. You don’t have to be a millionaire and you certainly don’t have to be good looking.
But you do have to LEARN what makes these women WANT you!
And all of this we coach and teach in the SECRET ART OF ATTRACTION™
If you haven’t downloaded it yet, then go and do it today.
If you’re not satisfied you can return it within 14 days for a full refund.
So there’s no risk!
Good luck out there.
Callum
Have you ever seen the women that hang around at motor racing circuits?
You know the ones that are there as part of the race teams. They are wearing the team livery and are there purely as ‘eye candy.’
If you ever watch the MotoGP, prior to the race starting each competitor sits on his motorbike mentally preparing for the race. Holding an umbrella over each rider is a stunningly attractive girl, with a size 8 body and a figure hugging outfit.
Most guys will gawk and think things like:
“Wow she’s hot!”
or
“God I’d like to date her.”
Equally most guys will believe that these women are to be dreamed about and never will they really date a woman like this.
You have to be a gorgeous millionaire, don’t you?
Ask yourself; do you think the same way?
At the weekend a large motorbike store in a nearby town was celebrating its birthday and was holding a 2 day event. The place was alive with people. There was lots of entertainment and plenty there for the motorcycling enthusiast.
Additionally they had a plethora of ‘hotties’ making the place look nice and handing out promotional material.
I listened as many of the bikers took the material and then confided with each other about how ‘fit’ the girls where.
Yet none of them spent any time engaged in conversation with the girls.
And the few that muttered more than half a dozen words said all the wrong things.
This is great news!
It’s great because most men do all the wrong things. They say the wrong lines and they execute the wrong actions.
And that means that people like you and I that learn and practice the right things to say and the correct action to execute get to take girls like these on dates.
I know because I dated a girl that did the MotoGP events in the UK.
And the good news is, it’s so easy!
You don’t have to be tall. You don’t have to have dark hair. You don’t have to be a millionaire and you certainly don’t have to be good looking.
But you do have to LEARN what makes these women WANT you!
And all of this we coach and teach in the SECRET ART OF ATTRACTION™
If you haven’t downloaded it yet, then go and do it today.
If you’re not satisfied you can return it within 14 days for a full refund.
So there’s no risk!
Good luck out there.
Callum
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Why are some guys successful with women?
Experience
Let me share with you a real life experience.
Some years ago I used to play football on a Saturday for a local team in a league in Gloucestershire.
The plan was, after the game to go for a few drinks and then all meet up later in Cheltenham to go on to a nightclub.
One of the players was a guy called Gary. He was a short-arse at about 5’5” and had a completely bald head. Years with a receding hairline he’d simply decided to shave what little he had left. Gary was in the Royal Air Force and was a tough tackling midfielder.
Eye opener
It was an eye opening experience.
As a bunch of guys we did the usual thing of checking out the club upon arrival and then making a bee line for the bar.
Drink in hand we then moved around the club with a view to finding some potential ladies to strike up a conversation with.
I remember one round table having a group of 4 or 5 women all of which were stunners. None of them paid any attention to our group.
Within about a nanosecond of spotting the group Gary simply marched over to the table, sat amongst them and within seconds had engaged them in conversation. After about 3 minutes you could see them all laughing and smiling and all vying for Gary’s attention.
It was remarkable.
How had this guy, who on a scale of ‘best looking’ guys would hardly register, managed to get a bunch of gorgeous women literally begging for his attention?
7 days later
The following week we were playing at home and at the end of the match Gary’s girlfriend turned up to drive him home so he could have a few drinks in the clubhouse.
His girlfriend was simply divine. A 10 out of 10 and could have easily been a model!
The other 9 players, myself, the manager and the subs simply stared agog.
Wow!
A few years later
This was a few years ago.......and how things have changed.
I haven’t seen Gary in the time but I do know how he managed to attract such gorgeous women.
And the good news is, it’s so easy!
You don’t have to be tall. You don’t have to have dark hair. You don’t have to be a millionaire and you certainly don’t have to be good looking.
Gary had the special MAGIC that made him attractive. He had that certain something. Whether he knew he had it or not remains to be seen and I’ll probably never know.
But I know how you can get that special MAGIC.
I know how you can chat to any girl or group of girls and make them feel a powerful attraction to you.
And it doesn’t matter what you look like, what job you have, what car you drive.
It’s all in the SECRET ART OF ATTRACTION™
If you want the success that Gary had.
If you want to be able to engage in conversation with a group of stunning women then you need to master the techniques that we coach.
And if you’re unsure then simply download it and if you’re not satisfied you can return it within 14 days for a full refund.
So there’s no risk!
dating tips for men and get a FREE guide on Why Most Dates Fail.
Good luck out there.Callum
Let me share with you a real life experience.
Some years ago I used to play football on a Saturday for a local team in a league in Gloucestershire.
The plan was, after the game to go for a few drinks and then all meet up later in Cheltenham to go on to a nightclub.
One of the players was a guy called Gary. He was a short-arse at about 5’5” and had a completely bald head. Years with a receding hairline he’d simply decided to shave what little he had left. Gary was in the Royal Air Force and was a tough tackling midfielder.
Eye opener
It was an eye opening experience.
As a bunch of guys we did the usual thing of checking out the club upon arrival and then making a bee line for the bar.
Drink in hand we then moved around the club with a view to finding some potential ladies to strike up a conversation with.
I remember one round table having a group of 4 or 5 women all of which were stunners. None of them paid any attention to our group.
Within about a nanosecond of spotting the group Gary simply marched over to the table, sat amongst them and within seconds had engaged them in conversation. After about 3 minutes you could see them all laughing and smiling and all vying for Gary’s attention.
It was remarkable.
How had this guy, who on a scale of ‘best looking’ guys would hardly register, managed to get a bunch of gorgeous women literally begging for his attention?
7 days later
The following week we were playing at home and at the end of the match Gary’s girlfriend turned up to drive him home so he could have a few drinks in the clubhouse.
His girlfriend was simply divine. A 10 out of 10 and could have easily been a model!
The other 9 players, myself, the manager and the subs simply stared agog.
Wow!
A few years later
This was a few years ago.......and how things have changed.
I haven’t seen Gary in the time but I do know how he managed to attract such gorgeous women.
And the good news is, it’s so easy!
You don’t have to be tall. You don’t have to have dark hair. You don’t have to be a millionaire and you certainly don’t have to be good looking.
Gary had the special MAGIC that made him attractive. He had that certain something. Whether he knew he had it or not remains to be seen and I’ll probably never know.
But I know how you can get that special MAGIC.
I know how you can chat to any girl or group of girls and make them feel a powerful attraction to you.
And it doesn’t matter what you look like, what job you have, what car you drive.
It’s all in the SECRET ART OF ATTRACTION™
If you want the success that Gary had.
If you want to be able to engage in conversation with a group of stunning women then you need to master the techniques that we coach.
And if you’re unsure then simply download it and if you’re not satisfied you can return it within 14 days for a full refund.
So there’s no risk!
dating tips for men and get a FREE guide on Why Most Dates Fail.
Good luck out there.Callum
Thursday, March 25, 2010
How to attract women by overcoming the fear of approaching
Last time I shared with you the SECRET about LOOKS.
Today I’m going to tell you about the second SECRET which is FEAR.
If you remember I told you about the summer party at my mates house and the beautiful girl that I feared approaching. At the end of the night she was canoodling with some guy who was more Sunday Pub Team than Premier League.
Damn!! The point is though the guy deserved her, even if it pains me. He had the ‘balls’ to approach her. I didn’t!
Fear
Now let’s talk about this fear in a bit more detail.
If you want to shortcut all of this and overcome your fear NOW then you need to study the dating tips for men in the course and do the exercises.
The dictionary describes FEAR as:
1) A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2) Concern or anxiety.
Many so called dating experts talk about FEAR and the FEAR of approaching women. But let me clarify one point:
It’s ANXIETY. It is NOT fear!
Right, now we’ve got that cleared up. It’s important though, because it highlights a really valid point. And that is when you approach a girl there is no immediate danger. You’re not likely to get shot, stand on a land mine, or get pregnant! But your anxiety levels increase.
Today I’m going to tell you about the second SECRET which is FEAR.
If you remember I told you about the summer party at my mates house and the beautiful girl that I feared approaching. At the end of the night she was canoodling with some guy who was more Sunday Pub Team than Premier League.
Damn!! The point is though the guy deserved her, even if it pains me. He had the ‘balls’ to approach her. I didn’t!
Fear
Now let’s talk about this fear in a bit more detail.
If you want to shortcut all of this and overcome your fear NOW then you need to study the dating tips for men in the course and do the exercises.
The dictionary describes FEAR as:
1) A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2) Concern or anxiety.
Many so called dating experts talk about FEAR and the FEAR of approaching women. But let me clarify one point:
It’s ANXIETY. It is NOT fear!
Right, now we’ve got that cleared up. It’s important though, because it highlights a really valid point. And that is when you approach a girl there is no immediate danger. You’re not likely to get shot, stand on a land mine, or get pregnant! But your anxiety levels increase.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a psychological and physiological state. That means it’s to do with the mind as well as the body. It differs in that it is more to do with perceived threats that are unavoidable or out of your control. Anxiety is a ‘future-oriented’ mood state where you attempt to prepare yourself for an upcoming negative event.
Read that again: Anxiety is a ‘future-oriented’ mood state where you attempt to prepare yourself for an upcoming negative event.
In the case of an approach to a woman you ‘future oriented’ mood state prepares you for REJECTION. Your mind say’s ‘OK she’s going to reject you. She’s going to ignore you and think you’re an idiot, loser in life.’
Therefore to eliminate or reduce this ANXIETY we don’t make the approach and another girl slips on by to become the lover of some other guy........And on it goes.......It’s a downward spiral of failure.
Preventing anxiety
The GREAT news is that you can break this spiral and stop feeling ANXIETY. You can get it to a level where you’re NEVER anxious.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be so confident that you can walk up to ANY woman and initiate a conversation, without any anxiety. WOW. How nice would that be? Well the good news is that you CAN. You can start on your journey to super confidence right now by simply downloading THE SECRET ART OF ATTRACTION course right now.
For now though, remember, ANXIETY is something you can eliminate. Read the material, perform the exercises and enjoy making APPROACHES.
Want to know the SECRETS on how to attract women? Sign up to the FREE coaching email, full of dating tips for men and get a FREE guide on Why Most Dates Fail.
Good luck out there.
Callum
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